talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
