My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
