your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
