is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
