Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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