I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
