a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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