But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
