im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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