my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
