i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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