I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
