Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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