I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
