Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
