Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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