im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dicks are not precious.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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