so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
