We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
only if we run a train.
done.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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