it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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