im having a threesome with these popsicles
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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