I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
