Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So squirting runs in the family.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
