I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
