Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
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... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
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Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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