I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
