I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
