she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
as a side note pls kill me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
