she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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