On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
