This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
that may or may not have been my penis.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
