3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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