He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
