if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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