Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face http://tfl.nu/3atc
  Replies (7) Good night (1871) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York.. http://tfl.nu/qpq0
  Replies (13) Good night (3001) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm with your mom on this one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel. (224): I'm with your mom on this one. http://tfl.nu/c28m
  Replies (9) Good night (1089) Bad night (2980)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy? http://tfl.nu/hdnt
  Replies (54) Good night (2251) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night. http://tfl.nu/edgl
  Replies (15) Good night (4275) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven. http://tfl.nu/t5a6
  Replies (52) Good night (867) Bad night (4283)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/n1s3
  Replies (13) Good night (5756) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11. http://tfl.nu/k8vl
  Replies (21) Good night (5463) Bad night (2694)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands. (1-406): That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples. http://tfl.nu/g6g8
  Replies (10) Good night (863) Bad night (2518)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before... http://tfl.nu/eiiu
  Replies (9) Good night (606) Bad night (1689)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age. http://tfl.nu/xhom
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/9x49
  Replies (12) Good night (1015) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake. http://tfl.nu/mh4i
  Replies (10) Good night (689) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her. http://tfl.nu/tvor
  Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit http://tfl.nu/ek73
  Replies (3) Good night (533) Bad night (242)

Randomize