well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this