What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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