Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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(416): She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now http://tfl.nu/59pg

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(214): View more from Texas

Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."

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(214): Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15." http://tfl.nu/wu1w

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(517): View more from Michigan

dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

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(517): dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it. http://tfl.nu/4nb9

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

This is sufficient.

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(412): Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living (1-412): bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug (412): This is sufficient. http://tfl.nu/p15m

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

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(920): You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now. http://tfl.nu/yhp5

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(701): View more from North Dakota

does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?

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(701): does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat? http://tfl.nu/hd1u

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...

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(603): hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1... http://tfl.nu/ehgf

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(708): View more from Illinois

Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.

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(708): Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think. http://tfl.nu/wg4r

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(786): View more from Florida

hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!

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(786): hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth! http://tfl.nu/9piv

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(303): View more from Colorado

Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.

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(303): Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend. http://tfl.nu/4mef

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(415): View more from California

I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.

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(415): I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level. http://tfl.nu/gvuc

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(214): View more from Texas

I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.

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(214): I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS. http://tfl.nu/qjb8

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(515): View more from Iowa

My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.

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(515): My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker. http://tfl.nu/y9qd

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.

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(763): I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down. http://tfl.nu/nif2

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.

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(901): I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home. http://tfl.nu/sdsj

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