I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.