so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.