tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?