My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.