I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I supernannyed him into submission
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
