I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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