google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
