dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
