i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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