He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
