the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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