It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
PANTIES FOUND
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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