I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
