Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize