No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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