Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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