I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
my shit smells like andre
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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