my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
