sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
God, I missed his penis.
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