Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
