Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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