He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
