i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
