Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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