Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
