just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
