you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
