try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
