all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
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New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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