I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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