I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
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