Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
