It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
