I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
