Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
